User:Misskim/journal
From Sekhet-Maat Lodge
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Capricorn
A Dark and Lonely Night
Its been a busy busy winter, with few updates. I tend to be a lot less social in the winter time, but yet, the lodge is always busy busy. I took a week off in early December to do a magickal retreat. I was able to really get some ritual and thinking time in and I am hoping that my attitude is much better for the change. I was getting a bit crispy fried there toward the end.
I took a ritual part in Last Night in Troy, that was a great time and I always enjoy dramatic ritual. When I joined the OTO I never thought that I would ever be speaking in public at all and now I do public ritual. In any case, I really enjoyed that.
We had three days of celebration without our Winter Solstice this year. I was very much involved and really enjoyed the fraternity of spending three days with my brothers and sisters. The first night seven of us stayed the night holding a vigil for the Sun. At midnight we did some poetry celebrating the Sun and then Resh and then we called silence for the rest of the night. We spent it in our warm temple in the dark with candles and some quiet music. It was lovely. We joined Sr. Amritarosa on Mt. Tabor to greet the sun at sunrise and it was a pleasant morning. More ritual and the like for the rest of the day and that evening. We all gifted the Lodge as well as each other this year, it was really wonderful! Almost all of our wishlist items were given to the Lodge!
I'm looking forward to this year at the lodge! Our membership is growing and they are invested in making it the most useful tool for the promulgation of the Law as possible.
Running uphill backwards
Things have been horribly busy lately. I'm getting some of my responsibilities off of my plate, picking up others. Overall I feel that the changes will be excellent and my focus much more direct to my own vision of the Lodge and what I have to offer to it.
My personal business is taking a bit chunk of my energy and occupying my mind most of the time. I'm looking to open up my practice here on Feb 1, if all works out. I'm working to still get my lodge work done though, I am very excited about some new things we are implementing this year, including our new Open house, modeled after the great work that Knights Templar Oasis is doing! Much excitement.
We also discussed recently getting some blogging software onto this site so I can post updates to my journal and get it on RSS. I have had some discussions with deputy LMs around the country and it seems many of us enjoy keeping in touch and discussing things. I have had some emails from some of you (LMs as well) who enjoy seeing my process so if/when we get this up and running, I think it will be a good thing and we can discuss etc.
"Intoxicate the inmost, O my lover, not the outermost! So was it -- ever the same! I have aimed at the peeled wand of my God, and I have hit; yea, I have hit." - Liber 65 2:64-65
Sagittarius
Scorpio
The Camel
Busy week! Getting some of my longer term projects really mapped out and started on. In particular, I worked on the Initiator Trainer Coordinator goals and made the final determination for the location for Notocon. I'm very happy with the way that those things turned out.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the future of the lodge as it pertains to volunteers and work sharing. Lots of good ideas and I have had some really productive conversations with various lodge members as well about this, which is always a good first step.
In other news, I also worked heavily on the special events for next year, getting things mapped out and making sure they were on the calendar. I still want to double check on some of other other holidays, such as Crowleymas. I like the way we are doing special events these days, a centralized googledoc that anyone who's interested in special events can access. This way everyone knows who's doing what.
Spending some time reviewing my studies. These last two weeks were Equinox of the Gods and now I am perusing through Revival of Magick. A great read! I had forgotten all of the great essays in there!
Sexual Magick
This week in Deputy-Land consisted of getting a lot of minutiae of special events coming up taken care of and discussing various leadership challenges with my officers. Challenges mainly consisted of how to stay on top of things and organized as well as motivations to keep working hard even when others are lacking. I learned a lot and got a bit of advice for myself as well which of course was excellent.
Went lastnight to see the much criticized Abbey of Thelema movie. I actually went in with very little expectation, and enjoyed it. It was bad, for sure, but I can have fun with a bad movie and went into it determined not to take myself so seriously. The main thing about this movie that I think is useful, is that it provides an excellent point of reflection for the modern initiate. I felt, from my readings and discussions with various biographers that AC was presented fairly accurately for that time period. Always asking for money, (I mean, which story have you heard when he wasn't?) and a bit lecherous. In any case, it puts the "ugly" AC right in your face, in real bad dramatized scenes and much of what I see of folks hating the movie has to do with the "inaccurate" portrayal of the Old Goat. Of course he had better moments, if he didn't, we'd never see anything published or useful, but here folks, are some of the bad ones. "If this portrayal is correct, then why am I here?" Is a good question to be asking, because in the answer is some good old fashioned initiate self reflection.
While the ritual was lames, the movie bad, etc., I was happy to have many of our members see it. I enjoyed seeing the ensuing very heated discussions and feel that we, as a body are better for it. We also had three new folks show up at the reception who have been looking for an excuse to come by the lodge and intend to return again. So there you have it.
Oh, and I also just simply giggled and laughed through the whole thing. Can't buy that these days.
Frugality
Not a very busy week as Deputy. Had a short meeting with some of the officers this week to discuss various ways to bring more fraternal ties outside of the lodge, giving folks social ties to be involved in. That was a great discussion and I think we came up with some very great ideas.
Sunday evening was a beautiful night, hanging out with some folks and Fr. Khabs Kaos in his yard with some smoked salmon. We discussed how great it is that more members of the R+C is able to work on special events in the way of organizing and doing feasts and the like, effectively helping to provide for entertainment for the Lodge and the MOE. Our valley is indeed maturing and growing!
Over all this week my focus has been on USGL things, conferences mainly, but I tightened up some of my documents for the lodge I am working on and went over the lodge use log to see how well our new process of having everyone have the combo is working. So far it is going well, only a few minor problems and only a few larger ones. Larger ones being that the initiation closet was left open for a day and the heater left plugged in. Over time we will tighten this up and I am confident that folks have already shown the responsibility necessary to keep the lodge safe and secure.
My own magickal process this week has been intense, as it always is this time of the year. As we enter into the darker phases of the year, my mind goes more introspective and I do a lot more private ritual. I seem to sweep around the calendar at this time of year with my solar return coming up in a few weeks. I always get a lot more productive this time of year as well, and this is showing in my ability to get a lot done.
I am being very frugal with my time, enjoying a lot of time alone as well, which has been good.
The Fish
It has been a busy and hectic week. Much OTO work done. Last weekend was a baptism mass that Fr. I0I and I presided at. Mass for some reason was very different for me and intense. The first meeting of the Promulgators happened, we got a lot done and I enjoyed it very much, it seemed like people were very inspired to make things happen. I personally found it to be inspiring, filling my "Bucket O' Thelema" very full very fast! It was much in need of filling too...
The committee meetings to organize the committees and give a punch of energy into each one are going well. Some better than others, many of the committees still need some inspiration, but over all, even though I still have more meetings to go, I think it has been worth the time and energy I have put into doing them.
Midnight at the Oasis is coming this weekend. I very much enjoy these initiation weekends. I can't believe how much symbolism gets tapped in strategically deeper when I am able to see the initiations one after another. We have some out of town guests in for it as well, which is always exciting.
Various USGL projects on my plate as well, they are going, if not too excitedly. I am a bit disappointed in the lack of responses, but as usual, my main pool that I am drawing from is incredibly busy people, who aren't too likely to want more on their plates. I shall build my own army!
I've been reading the Jane Wolfe Red Flames, I doubt I would have been able to live in such disorganized squalor as Chefalu... I have determination and drive and discipline, but a very low tolerance for that sort of lifestyle. Who knows. I've been contemplating a magickal retreat for the summer, although, going sometime soon would be much better for me, as astrologically, I am much more potent at this time of the year... I shall see if my Will manifests the dollars to make it happen.
Virgo
How to Win Friends and Influence People
I wanted to make a new update, its been a while, I've been super busy graduating and all. Now that THAT is over, I can focus on catching up on my O.T.O work. On the docket right now:
- Finish Goals 2008 Project meetings
- Set up project management for all goals for 2008 and follow up [ongoing obviously]
- Get someone helping/working the special events aspect of the lodge.
I've been enjoying my musings since Notocon and have come to change the way I deal with things a bit. Most recently, I've re-read Dale Carnegie and I had forgotten how I was raised with this way of interpersonal communication, it being a favorite of my father's. I used it quite a bit at notocon, most notably, the aspects of praise and appreciation and found it to be wildly successful. I have been using it more at the lodge recently as well and have found it a great way to communicate and help folks get what they want out of the lodge.
Also, I have been working on getting a new group up and running, the "Sisters of Babalon" at the lodge. This will be a woman only group for initiates and the public to assist the initiates in integrating their lives as women into the lodge and into each other's lives, as well as allow new women to the community a great and low key way to integrate themselves into the feminine presence within the lodge.
I suppose I should make a wiki page on it. :0)
A weekend of Companions
Wow. Big weekend of initiations! I adore 4/PI initiation weekends the way we have been doing them the last few years. Spending a lot of time with our visiting out of town brethren as well as with the local folks as well. I really get a lot out of it.
This time, our brother and sisters from Knights Templar Oasis came out to be initiated or participate, we had a brother from LVX and of course our friends from up north at Vortex Oasis and Horizon Oasis joined us as well.
My heart is full and I have much to do to make up for lost organizational and leadership time...
Libra
A weekend away
Had a good weekend away. Went down to the bay area for the Fall meeting of the Electoral College. I learned a lot and got a lot of new opinions about things. I was also able to do a lot of thinking about how I would like to see SML grow over the next few years. More on that later.
The 30th Anniversary of Thelema Lodge was also held on this weekend and we joined with others in toasting to another 30 years. It was an interesting experience meeting with others from TL and getting to know them.
As always, it was nice to travel with friends such as E and we managed to spend many hours in pubs and airports waiting together and got all caught up on our personal lives and other OTO business.
Leo
Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
A busy week in the land of Deputy work. Keeping up with my Cow is always an ordeal and a task. I usually embrace it but lately its telling me to do hard things. :)
I worked a bit with Filemaker this morning, trying to figure out if it will be a good platform for the new database for the Initiator Trainer Database I need to make and manage. It was fun, but stuff I really know NOTHING about, so there ya go.
Spent a wee bit of time searching and cleaning as well along with tidy them up tasks and feeling sorry for myself for a while. I seem to be over that now though.
Not much to say this week, simply this:
I love you guys. That's enough for me!
Never take your light saber into the cave...
Spent my time having a fun and busy weekend with other initiates. I always enjoy that time we spend together in love. It was however, very exhausting and I managed to come home lastnight and sleep for 13 hours! I don't think I have done that in forever.
Projects I'm working on now are in full swing. The special events are coming together nicely and my other projects (Notocon, Initiator Training Coordinator etc) are starting to take final form or as in the case of notocon, finishing.
The week started out pretty challenging. I lost a clinic shift at school due to budgeting and so I have been wrangling that, but also it seemed on Monday that all of my inherent weaknesses were attacked or misunderstood or I was just simply being stupid, and thus some communications were very difficult. I am however very glad to say that they have been worked out and things are going well once again, and I have some more information on my behavior that I can use to help me grow. Always a good thing.
This weekend are minerval and second degree initiations. I'm very much looking forward them and congratulating our new initiates!
So you win, you lose, but this week I learned not to take my light saber into the cave. Preconceived notions of how things will go, how people perceive you and assuming things is always dangerous territory!
Beauty and Strength
Ahhh, I am finally starting to get back to normal after NOTOCON. I didn't get much sleep while I was there, though by all accounts, I got more than most. I had a great time, managed to hang out and talk with many people I wanted to talk with, working on getting ideas for the new position of Initiator Trainer Coordinator as well as discussing lots of issues as they pertain to local bodies and the lodge.
I loved the fact that local body dues and membership were NOT the key ingredients of discussions this year. Everyone quite simply, are either already doing it, or in the process of implementing it. We talked instead of how to reach out, how to interface and talked a lot about various ways to promulgate the Law. This seems like a natural progression since we're beginning as an order to fulfill our malkuth needs and its time to move on and get some thing done outside of our small area of influence within the Lodge.
My heart is full of love for the people who are doing so much work nation wide to make this ship float. I was overwhelmingly happy at Sabazius' keynote address and its message that we unequivicably stand behind the Book of the Law and Thelema. I was very happy about that.
So now I focus on my lodge work and graduation. Let us hope I can slide in home and not kill myself before I manage to become an acupuncturist!
Cancer
The Great Return
Well, its time to return to the day in and day out activities of a Friendly Lodge Officer. The vacation was wonderful, we both got a lot of rest and we had some great long discussions about how our magickal life will be working out now. I enjoyed the peaceful surroundings and the quiet time with my family, G and Miss Pig of course.
Since coming home, I've sped through my to do lists on Remember The Milk and gotten a lot done since then. When I first took over as Deputy, all of a month ago, I of course put into motion quite a few new projects. They are now flowing along nicely with a minimum of overseeing. I like it when these things happen. I'm at my limit though as they are ambitious projects and take up most of my spare time.
One of the projects is what I am affectionately calling Goals Project 2008, a project designed to get all of the committees in motion, helping each of them to build goals for the coming year, but also to allow me an outline and structure to work within in my goal of really encouraging and helping each committee chair in success at owning and making their committees the best they can be.
Ok, back to work. I still have to finalize some things on my Notocon Presentation.
19
"Mitigate Energy with Love; but let Love devour all things."
Lodge work has been going well lately. I've been working on some very major projects and I've taken over management of the Special Events Committee for now as well. Some of my main projects are coming to a close or are swimming along nicely. We put the new guidelines in place for those getting combinations to the lodge lockbox. That went well and I am happy that folks are signing in.
The Goals Project is starting to wind down on the first phase, that is, scheduling each of the committee meetings. I only have one person left to track down. Then we begin the big process of having each meeting. Once that happens, I can collate all of the information and get it up here on the wiki and our annual goals will be done! YAY!
K and I finished the temple painting Sunday and Yesterday. I really like the way the gold came out. Its very pretty and highlights the red now, breaking it up a bit. Very nice. I really enjoyed doing the final touches myself. I love working alone in the temple, the energy envelopes me and I can do my karma yoga undisturbed, working and sweating alone with my thoughts and memories.
Last but not least, my time has been greatly centered around USGL work as well. Notocon is in its final wrap up phase and many of us will be making the great trip to Salem, MA to attend. I've really enjoyed running the national conference committee and this year is no exception.
Also, in other exciting news, I just got appointed as the Initiator Trainer Coordinator for USGL! This is a position I have been wanting/working on for years and years, and I am SO excited to get started on forming that process! I have a lot of great ideas that this will give a great home to.
Gemini
Brainstorming
Life has been busy and exciting lately. Since I've been taking over as Deputy, I've been brainstorming various ideas to do my work and benefit the lodge as well. Lots of good ideas there, have to pick and choose!
I have also been spending a lot of time on Notocon, things there are really ramping up. I am super excited to see everyone again!
Thoughts for the day
I sometimes wonder just how many of us have to be devoted and working hard to make it a community effort. Mind you, I am not complaining of a lack of help, I just wonder if 2, 3 or 10 people, or if it requires a percentage.
Officer Installation
We had our Executive Officer installation last night. I really enjoyed myself and was happy that many of the brethren came out to support the new officers. I also enjoyed just hanging out afterward talking with folks about my vision and what they expect from us as officers of the lodge. Here's the speech for anyone interested.
In Motion
Things have really been in motion for me the last two days. I had taken quite a few of my responsibilities off to prepare for my Board exams, now I am back in full swing on those things as well as some others. Our Special Events person needed some time off, so I am taking most of that over. It is actually good timing as I am in a organizing mood and its been time for a long time to start running special events more by committee anyway. So, we will begin to have more committee meetings for organization etc. Maybe one a quarter I am thinking.
Anyway, I spent about a half hour last night simply looking at all of the events through the quarter and putting them into my Cow. I had to do this. Its hard for me to keep everything in my head. When I do try to keep a lot of details, especially for events, since they are so tactile and emotional for me, in my head, I get depressed and in a grouchy mood. The Cow has helped me to keep everything safe and sound, it throws tasks at me in time rather than all at once and I can simply blaze through them as fast as I need to without worrying about any next steps or otherwise.
I currently am using my Cow for everything including birthdays, housekeeping and any other thing I might do more than once. I have trained myself to use it by always asking myself as I do a task, "Will I do it again?" If so, it goes into the Cow.
G and I are going away this next week. It will be my first time on a vacation in many many many years where the point is to rest. We've done many away trips, but usually come home exhausted rather than rejuvenated. This is the goal this time.
